Sick!!

AHHHHhhhhhHHHH!!!!
Of all the bloody times i must fall sick!!!
@@
i really dunno wanna say what....
finals is already here...n i m still sick for 3 days??
god help me!!
i really dunno what to say now...
i can say that i m a bit disappointed with someone....
but i jz dun wanna show it....
i can say that i m really having disturbing thoughts about everything...
i jz dun wan it to happen...
god plz...
why is all this happening over n over again??
i m tired...i really am...plz god...
jz plz let it all end...
let it all end in peace...
i wanna love again...
i know i let my feelings all out before..
but now when he treats me bad,
i feel as if i owe him another piece of me...
i want him to stop being jealous of all my friends...
i dun wanna control his lifestyle...
i only wish he understands tat i wanna have frens...
plz....i really am tired being mentally tortured...
i want him by my side occasionally...
i want him to be called mine...
i want him to succeed in everything he does...
even if it means that i won't get to see him for a few years...
it doesn't matter...
but it does matter to him??
does it not?
i don't know...
if u r reading this post of mine,
will u reassure me sayang?
will u??
tell me i will always be ur baby...
plz god..i want all this answered....
i really hv no more strength in me to fight when i m sick....
plz let it all be alright...
i promise i won't fight with him...
that i will listen to what he tells me...
that i will always support him...
and that i will always love him...
i don't know...
it hurts to be loved and then dumped...
it always had.....
i always wanted to 'belong'...
now u tell me u wanted this feelings not to go away...
but when i asked u again some time ago,
u said u will reconcile...
what is the meaning of this??
i'm scared...
god plz dun play with my emotions...
my feelings....
i want this all to be secured and ended....
plz.....i beg u......




AsHLeY